Unconditional love… easy to say…sometimes not so easy to do. Although the ‘doing’ is of the utmost importance….but how?
Buckled down on an airplane stuffed with people, I found myself dictating conditions.
Sitting behind me, a little girl about the age of 4 was desperately trying to get her father’s attention by screaming at the top of her lungs, “Daddy, Daddy, DAddy, DADdy, DADDy, DADDY! louder and louder and LOUDER.
In a split second, unconditional love just met its first condition. In my frustrated emotional state, I could actually feel my internal organs twisting along with my thought patterns with each screech of the word DADDY! All I could think of was // PLEASE, daddy, do us all a favor and answer your child already!//
Then the questions started.
Should I ask them to be quiet or just leave it? Is “DADDY” conscious, should I look back to check? Will she will be quiet soon? Am I the only person on this plane that is bothered by this? Why is everyone else so calm? What is wrong with me? After all, I am a mother of 4 and I am quite capable of handling some noise.
Oh my…how many thoughts go through my head and emotions through my body!?.
My actions-As unnoticeable as possible, I did turn around in my seat to check if “DADDY” was indeed conscious. He was! As I struggled in my seat, replaying the thoughts that kept running through my mind and the possible actions I could take while trenched in the emotions of helplessness, frustration, and a whole slew of emotions that surfaced my neurological pathways at the time, I choose to just sit there in the midst of the screaming and tried my best to follow my breath–deep calm breathes. Wow! And all that under 3 minutes, so many conditions.
Loving (unconditionally) what is, is not so simple when you are confronted with a situation.
A huge smile crossed my face as I realized I have just learned something about myself.
I was aware of my internal Emotions, Actions, and Thoughts (EATs).
As I sat there on the plane, stuck, with nowhere to physically go and the reocurring shouting noises filling my ears– suddenly, I was able to reverse roles and take on the role of a bystander checking myself out.
Luckily just about everywhere I go I am in possession of a pen and paper and being able to pause the cycle just enough to catch it and write about the event/s in my life allows me to become more aware of the experience at hand–its deeper meaning! This situation had just happened FOR me, as they all do, and what I wrote down and caught on paper helped me to make some sense out of it all–to balance my Emotions, Actions, and Thoughts (EATs).
Now, this may sound pretty trivial to you. Grow up and deal, right? But for me, the 3-5 minutes of the tantrum, screaming, and repetition were enough to cause me to fall out of my comfort zone and go through an unwanted transformation that was wreaking havoc on my EATs!
I find that when I encounter these types of “out of the blue” circumstances they are the best times to “practice my inner work”.
First off, from the experience of being stuck in a tight space, I learned that patience is a virtue and I want more of it. I thought about how I could bring more balance into my life at that moment and when and if this would happen ‘for me’ again. The most ironic thing is that when I catch myself and investigate the situation the experience that is happening for me–it doesn’t happen again…it simply disappears, or at least I don’t EAT (Emotion, Act and Think) the same way if it were to happen again. I would have already learned something about myself and would have transformed my Emotions, Actions, and Thoughts (EATs) in a way that brings me more peace and balance.
Emotions, Actions, and Thoughts are very personal and are individual. Groups of people with the same interests can seemingly possess the same EATs but each individual has his own level of EATing (Emotioning, Acting, and Thinking), each person is unique.
As I sat there on the plane that day, I was even more aware of the fact that back home I have created a more uniform and predictable environment for myself. I have created a lifestyle in which I have more of a grasp of my own self-awareness and self-love (aspiring toward unconditional love). The true test is stepping out of my comfort zones and figuring it out along the unpredictable route.
On the plane, I was out of my element, molding to the world around me, the people, places, and things that influence me, in tight spaces with no chance of physical escape-well for the next 10 hours at least. Knowing that mentally and emotionally I can be free in any situation, anywhere, with anyone, or with anything brings a peaceful calm over me. I believe that by becoming more aware of myself, of my surroundings, and learning from them I can transform my Emotions, Actions, and Thoughts into the EATs that I want to create.
I am quite aware that my surroundings for the next 10 days abroad will be full of surprises. The climate, as well as the people, places, and things will differ from where I come from. I will adapt, all the while “holding my own hands” knowing that every person, place, and thing around me is happening FOR me, for me to learn more about myself and to develop in the way I choose no matter the circumstances.
Vacation….here I come!
To learn more about “who you are” and about your Emotions, Actions and Thoughts (EATs) and to gain more life tools on how to become more aware and use them to choose the life YOU truly want to live in any situation–please, subscribe today and contact us.
~J.A.B
Everything that happened, happens and will happen in life are FOR a reason, FOR you to learn about and develop yourself.
It’s really depressing how few people understand what unconditional love is, and so they write it off as “impossible” or “nonexistent,” as if mothers didn’t love their children without reason, as if dogs didn’t love their owners without rhyme. It hurt my heart so much that I felt the need to sit down and write this rant explaining what unconditional love is in the hope that it will reach someone and help someone out there who perhaps feels hopeless and lost.
Thank you for your comment Ramon.
Unconditional love is what I aspire to create in everything I do and most of all within me.
The source of being able to contemplate the meaning of unconditional love truly comes from within. I find that aspiring to love, forgive and be grateful for who I have become all the while aspiring to create a better me is the ultimate act of self-love. It is the most prominent way to create unconditional love and it is that ‘true love’ that I radiate with others.
We can choose to stand beside our partner, loving them in sickness and in health, without conditions, or we can choose to bail on love, to be cynical and sad and angry and give up.
Hi Alex,
One thing is for sure, we always have choices! And it is our choices that will shape our futures.
Depending on the specific situations making the right decision, a choice, may not be so clear at the time. Love, self-love, and respect are very important factors that I take into deep consideration when choosing in my own relationships–especially when given challenging situations in my own Life.